i have nowhere to rant and i dont want ro affect my friends with this so here i am back on Tumblr after like a year

this week has been so tiring and i was so ready for it to end and for me to get my tattoo on saturday

but this day decided It had more for me. one of my best friends just attempted suicide for like the 4th or 5th time and only one of our friends was able to go to the hospital with her and i wont have news from her until tomorrow morning when i’m already out of town

then my other best friend wont speak to me about her problems and im worried sick bout her

and now, 12h before the tattoo, i’m nervous about it bc my mom is judging me for it and I’m judging myself for it bc It doesnt even have a meaning i just scheduled it cuz i felt like it

tomorrow was supposed to be a fun chill day out with my friends and boyfriend but both of my friends are too mentally ill to come (and im not mad that they r not coming i’m Just worried that one is about to quit their job and the other one is in the fucking hospital) and i feel like this day is just gonna drag on tomorrow and ruin It for my boyfriend and I, who I haven’t seen in a week and was very eager to see and spend time with

i just wish all my friends were well. they motherfucking deserve it for being such amazing people, professionals and friends but apparently the world is shitty as fuck and there are people hurting them and making them hurt themselves

i just wish we were all fucking FINE for once and not falling apart and taking each other to the fucking hospital for the 3rd time in two years, we all deserve more than this, we are all amazing people

update: fucking great now im feeling guilty and awful cuz i Just found out the girl in the hospital and the girl that went to visit her are going to the same place as me tomorrow and 1 i cant fucking visit them 2 i cant help them 3 this was decided like 5min ago and for some reason i’m angry i wanst part of the decision

my day is definitely ruined tomorrow im canceliing the fucking tattoo

x

phrases:

“it’s been a long ass fucking week”

-me, on tuesday

speedlimit15:

me: im gonna go to bed early and get a good nights sleep
netflix: here’s a bunch of 45 minute documentaries on the wildlife inhabiting coastal islands
me: hhhdbhnnnnnnnnnnddndkkj coconut crab

shewhosoothes:

19yo woman: my 34yo boyfriend-

me, immediately on the phone with the lesbian mafia: hello i’d like to order a hit